I have officially closed down the green-house for the season. Cleaned up the green-house from the remaining bits and pieces of the tomatoes plants. Dig the soil. It is an interesting to think of the pre-winter as the end of the year.
Last week (baseline) times:
- Monday, 2000m, 8:02
- Wednesday, 3000m, 12:28
- Friday, 1000m, 3:47
- Saturday, 5000m, 21:15
Feels like I have gone down in fitness substantially compared to few year ago. I’ll see if a bit of practice will bring the previous (sub 2min/500m in longer runs) back.
“A mirror does not show the truth for it only reflects what you see.”
I’m developing sort of split-I, that observes the usual-I. It is interesting. The new-I never wants anything, is always calm and in peace, and just observes. The normal-I carries the usual daily routines, gets busy, happy, angry, hungry, etc. The new-I just observes everything around. It is funny, to wake up with the bad mood, or headache for example and just observe myself having bad mood or a headache. The new-I cheers me up then, because I quickly realise the transiency of my bad mood or headache. Another day I wake up happy and energetic, and the new-I slows me down, makes me more reflective, again, reminding me that it is something that will pass, and will change, later in the day, or in a week. It is hard to describe. I guess I’m realising how transient and arbitrary everything is. All the emotional ups and downs. Also, realising how much “detached” from reality we really live our lives – fuelled, in majority, by all those transient states, trying to catch a glimpse of a short high to be quickly dragged down into some equally low unhappiness. I’m nowhere near to get it all. But, I just noticed this new development within myself. My theory is that a zen discipline (physical and mental) helps one to disassociate oneself from the usual ups and downs of normal life.
Sunday. New Zealand’s mother’s day. Went with Ula to play ping-pong, and have had an indoor fun-and-games time with Emilia and Lidia. Emilia can ride a small 2-wheel bicycle for a short period of time on her own. Amazing. As for myself, first major success on unicycle- 3 weeks along the path, and managed to cycle 2m without touching anything.
Lots of work. Finishing the transition from mboxes to maildirs (Postfix is the new king now on our research server). Staying late at work. Emails.
I have just finished the book “Into the Wild” by Jon Krakauer. It took me a very long time to make the last two final chapters. I think subconsciously I did not want to finish the book. Moving. I cannot really write anything write now about it.
Final picture: “He is smiling in the picture, and there is no mistaking the look in his eyes: Chris McCandless was at peace, serene as a monk gone to God.”
“At thefront of the bus, Billie picks up a pair of Chris’s patched, ragged jeans and, closing her eyes, presses them to her face. “Smell,” she urges her husband with a painful smile. “They still smell like Chris.”