The day before

Unlike other shorter-distance running events, and surprisingly somewhat, there is quite a number of things to take care of. Food, drinks, clothing for the trip and for the run, navigation to get to the registration spot, head torch for the night running, change of shoes, etc. I have almost thought of setting up a ToDo list.

Am I ready? Not sure. Probably not. I will know afterwards what could have been done better. Slowly everything else crosses the boundary beyond the margins of my attention. My mind slowly focuses on just one and only thing. The run. This is a huge mental “detox” I guess. Like a flush. All mental clutter has to leave the head, and it will, perhaps not before the start of the event, but definitely before the end. Clarity. And emptiness. Perhaps it is this emptiness that I fear the most.

Like being completely naked. There will be nothing to hold on to, everything will be thought through million times, and there will be nothing else to think about. Life analyzed over and over, from the beginning and all the way to the end. Emptiness. Clarity? Not sure about the latter.

Is it possible to experience something that cannot be communicated to others, and for just few people to be experiencing it and “sharing” the insights about the experience? Or is it more about a shared “illusion”, rather than true experience of something unique? How can these two be distinguished?

I had quite a good night sleep tonight. Not too stressed. But my heart rate has risen a bit. The leap to the unknown is probably taking its toll.

Next post will be from the other side…¬†I will become a slightly different person.¬†Something will break. Something will change. Somethings will never be the same.



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